


Precious and Pure, Like Your Broken Promise

by Vanilena



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, BotFA, F/M, Plot, Romance, Some Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-03 10:37:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2847914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanilena/pseuds/Vanilena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She finds herself grieving terribly for him, so she ventures out to find his mother. Legolas is concerned.</p><p>Post-botfa</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

'She walks in starlight in another world..' His voice continuously whispers in her head. Tauriel found herself slouching on a rock in the midnight blossom air, just outside the forest of Mirkwood. Her voice hiccuping as she breathes, cheeks wet and eyes stained red. Repeating the words, "I should have followed him," until she fell over on her side.

Her stomach felt ill and she wanted to throw up as she did many times during the past week. Every bone in her body rippled as she held onto herself for warmth. No elf had ever seen another in such a state, and she denied the elves to cure her. Her illness, her grief, her pain... She couldn't let it go that easy. She wondered why they even asked.

A scramble of bushes in the forest was heard a ways from her. Last week Tauriel would have jumped to her feet with an arrow ready in half a second, but this week Tauriel wouldn't care if a goblin or spider took her life. She didn't even carry her weapon anymore. All she could hear, feel, touch, and see was an ache that never subsided, and she only wished for it to be over. But she knew she needed to feel it, for it was love that caused her the pain.

A young prince emerged from the bushes and his eyes scanned the open field, immediately landing on the woodland elf. "Tauriel," he ran and stood before the red haired elf. "Tauriel?" He asked, concerned.

Tauriel shut her eyes, trying to hold back her sobs to avoid embarrassment.

"Tauriel," he spoke a third time, kneeling before her. "I need ask you if you would return. My father worried about your whereabouts, knowing the state you're in." He touched the back of her hand, which was lying on the rock by her face, her other hand was tucked under her side. "My Lady there is treatment for this pain. If only you would oblige you could escape this grief. You could move on."

The elvenking once told Tauriel how fond Legolas was of her. She did not believe that the king would allow such a thing. A prince in love with a female of lower status was unheard of.

But so was an elf in love with a dwarf.

The red haired elf opened her eyes, staring right into the prince's. "If only it were that easy my prince. But my heart is not ready to move on. As much as I wish for the pain to end, I need to feel it." She sat up and shook his hand from hers.

The blond elf looked her up and down, before settling his blue eyes back on hers. Silence filled the night until Legolas asked a dangerous question, one he feared he didn't want to know the answer to. "Did you love him?"

Tauriel swallowed and simply shook her head. "I don't know. He and I, we just... happened. With no second thought or action, we were strung by something. A force that carried us nowhere," She said, trying so hard not to break down, wiping her tears away herself. She placed a closed hand over her heart. "I should have gone with him at Laketown. Perhaps I would have been able to save him again. Perhaps he wouldn't have died. Perhaps that filthy battle would have never even started!"

Legolas still kneeled before her, his heart broken by the trembling sight of the elf he finds to be most beautiful of any, and by her love for another man, a foolish dwarf. A disgust to the elves. He couldn't understand how or why she could fall for such a flawed species.

"What's in your hand?" He asked her.

She shook her head once more. "Nothing of your interest or concern. It's only something I must return."

The princes cocked his head. "Return, my lady?"

"It's only a token."

Only a token was not enough to describe it. It was a treasure carved by his loving mother, who perhaps doesn't yet know that his promise, which was above all precious and pure, was broken. A token created out of love and hope. Created for a promise.

A broken promise. Tauriel knew only she could return the token, for her love was no less stronger than his mother's.

Somehow everything lead back to him. He had turned into the sun of her universe the instant she looked into his eyes as the last word his lips shaped was her name as he was pierced and bleeding, and soon gone. And when she touched her lips to his she couldn't withstand the aching feeling in her stomach because she couldn't feel his cold, rough lips kissing her back.

She was ashamed when she was faced with the king as she held the dwarf in her arms and she asked quietly, "Why does it hurt so much?"

And the king said something she would never have expected, for he had banished her for having foolish and fake feelings for him in the first place. But he then understood, for the battle reminded him of his wife and the deep love he had for her. And he told Tauriel with the most sincere part of his heart, "Because it was real."

One might say there is no such thing as love at first sight, but what Tauriel felt when the dwarf prince looked at her gleaming eyes and made that silly joke about his trousers in the cell, she couldn't help but wonder. But because of the hatred between the elves and the dwarves, she felt as though she were an abomination. And that is how she was looked upon for some time by the elvenking. She felt confused, angry, and broken. But somehow that didn't stop her from loving him.

Tauriel was torn away from her thoughts when two hands took both of hers. She stared down at them. Those hands were too thin, too sharp. How odd it was that she would wish for two calloused hands to take hers instead.

"May I tell you something?" Legolas asked her quietly.

Tauriel could feel it coming. She stared into the princes eyes. "There is no need to tell me anything. Your father has already spoken to me about your feelings."

Legolas' face twisted for a moment. "I want to tell you. It's not enough that my father has told you. That is only something I should."

"Please do not tell me," She pleaded, her lips twisting. "Please do not tell me that you love me." Another tear grazed her cheek and she closed her eyes. "I apologize, my prince. I simply cannot handle anything that has to do with love when all I can feel is the hatred from it."

The prince nodded, still unable to understand why she wouldn't accept the help the elves offered her. But those elves couldn't understand her pain because many of them have not felt it before, and Tauriel hoped they never will, for she would not wish this terrible feeling on anyone; not even upon her worst enemy if she had one.

This feeling she felt was one she wanted to get rid of, she wanted to stop feeling the pain but she didn't want to stop loving the dwarf prince, which is what caused the dark feeling in the first place.

Tauriel felt those two thin hands abandon hers, and heard the sound of footsteps fade away in the grass as she eventually found herself abandoned as well.


	2. Chapter Two

She didn't eat, she didn't speak, she either slept too much or too little, she couldn't keep up with herself. She often stayed in her chambers or out in the forest, where she spent hours upon hours singing to herself the old, sad tales of past lives, or staring at her reflection in a small lake.

Tauriel's weeping heart wasn't able to fathom the life she lost. So much of her followed him when he left that there was no life left in herself. She couldn't find any hope, any silver lining. Even she knew that she was completely and utterly dead inside.

Legolas would often check up on her, claiming it was on his fathers behalf, but she didn't believe him. He would sit beside her for an hour and simply talk, attempting to get her to do so as well, which she did. She answered his questions and sometimes talked about her feelings. Legolas believed it would help her to have someone by her side, but everyday somehow turned into the same day with her around. Nothing was changing.

"Tauriel, you aren't getting any better," he said to her one night while at the brim of a lake. "It has been weeks, months in fact. You aren't the Tauriel I was hoping would return. The Tauriel I knew loved to speak about the things she loved, she carried her bow in her hand and arrows on her back, she wandered the land with wonder and excitement, not sadness and ruin." He spoke as he tucked a copper lock of hair behind her ear. "How can I go on when the woman I know and love is dead?"

Something in Tauriel's heart snapped. She threw her head in the prince's direction and stood up. Her cheeks grew hot and her fists clenched so hard her nails could break her skin. "Dead?" She shouted at him. Legolas' eyes widened and he stood to his feet. This was the last reaction he had expected from her. "Is the woman you know and love really dead? Because her broken heart still beats, does it not?"

"Tauriel, I'm-"

"Save it you filthy prince. Because the man I'm in love with truly is dead. His heart doesn't beat," she started to choke on her own words. "His eyes don't hold the color they once did before," her voice became tight and quiet. "He is six feet under the...." The rest of what she tries to say is not heard because her voice has stopped working but her lips are still moving, twisted as tears streamed down her face and she cried the young dwarf's name quietly as she fell down to her knees on the dark green grass, head bowed low. She breathed in deeply, trying to gain control of herself, but all she could do was sob.

"My Lady, I meant no offense when I said those words," he spoke as he knelt down to her level. He contemplated touching her, just to lift her chin so he can look at her eyes. "I apologize deeply. It was only a misunderstanding." He said, staring at the broken elf before him. The elf who was once a strong silvan elf, now a fragile being. Whose eyes once gleamed, but now gloom. Her hair which used to be straight and braided, not a flaw when you combed your fingers through it, has now become a tangled mess. "I'll be going now," he whispered as he stood up again, regret flooding through him. "Novaer."

She looked up to see the prince walking away. She bit her lip, she did not want to walk alone, vulnerable to spiders without a weapon on hand.

"Legolas," she spoke, her throat groggy.

Legolas stopped and turned, "Yes, Tauriel?"

She shook her head, embarrassed for asking for help. "Please walk me to my chambers."

Legolas tried not to show any surprise, for he hadn't expected her to ask that. "Of course." He smiled. "Whenever you're ready."

She tried to compose herself. She rubbed her face, attempting to clear the wet tears but only ended up smearing them around. She carried herself up, slouching as she walked towards the prince. He offered her his arm, to which she coldly declined by walking ahead of him.

They walked through the trees in silence, insects buzzing and bothering. Tauriel ignored everything around her as her thoughts traveled to when he gave her the token, "A promise," he called it. And he then went to the waters with his kin, looking back, longing for her.

"I should have followed him," she whispered.

"What was that?" Legolas asked from behind her, dragging her away from her regretful thoughts.

She stopped and turned around. "I should have followed him," she admitted. "I could have saved him again."

Legolas stood there silently, unable to understand the pain she felt. He had seen this before though with his father long, long ago.

Tauriel continued to walk. The gaurds at the palace allowed them through. It wasn't uncommon for Tauriel to return much later than usual. When they reached the door to Tauriel's chambers Legolas snatched her arm before she had the chance to reach the door nob.

"Tauriel I..." He began. "I'm sorry for what I said at the lake tonight. Please forgive me."

He took her hand, but she didn't take his. He looked down at them. "Why can't you feel anything?" He asked her, his voice quiet and filled with concern, he sounded broken. He looked at her eyes again. 

She lightly squeezed his hand, so lightly it was almost nothing, but Legolas felt it. "My heart is broken," she said, voice heavy from trying to contain herself, her lips in a line. She looked into the prince's bright blue eyes. "I have become hallow inside. I feel nothing but regret and longing. It's torture."

He paced towards her cautiously and carefully placed his hand on her still damp cheek. Tauriel didn't care, because she didn't feel. She simply allowed it to happen, her eyes unmoving, her face didn't fluster, her broken heart beat normally. Nothing changed.

"It must be terrible," he spoke.

He stared at her eyes for a minute, searching for some sort of light in them. Anything that told him that there was hope for him to be a part of her life once again. "Goheno nin," he spoke against her lips, brushing them lightly with his.

Tauriel didn't respond when he pressed his lips to hers. She stood there with her eyes open, staring at his closed ones. She could feel a need in his kiss, something he wishes he had but couldn't. Tauriel knew exactly what that was. He pulled away from her lips after only a second. He pressed his forehead to hers, and for a moment there was complete silence. "I needed to do that just once," he said, lingering his forehead on hers a bit longer before turning away. She watched him pace quickly down the hallway until he was out of sight.

She opened to door to her chambers, unable to sleep for hours. And when she finally did, she only dreamt nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted half the chapter right as I was about to put it up. The pain.
> 
> Another chapter in exactly a week.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this chapter sucks. i had a terrible night and i just winged this. its not proofread so there might be a million typos and stuff. the next chapter will be significantly better.

"Tauriel." Said a deep, familiar voice just as she was on her way out of the palace.

Tauriel stopped. "Yes my lord?" She questioned without turning back to look at the king. Somehow he had known that she was going to leave, and precisely at this time.

He stepped near her rather slowly as he spoke. "You are leaving, I assume." He now loomed over her, staring down at the red haired elf.

"That is true, my lord," she answered. "But I shall return," she assured, meeting eyes with the king.

His eyes narrowed slightly. "I sense this has something to do with the dwarf."

Tauriel fell silent, eyes averting towards the floor.

"It is no problem. I understand grief and pain. You should take this journey." He told her, lips curving. "But I would not suggest going alone."

"No, please. This is a journey I would like to travel alone."

His lips pursed. "Please, allow someone to help you on your journey. Many enemies await out there and it isn't safe going alone."

The two were interrupted by the sound of very light footsteps. Tauriel knew those footsteps anywhere and she cringed. 

"I shall accompany her," said the prince in a soft tone.

Tauriel and Legolas hadn't made any communication since the night he tried to kiss her, which was only a week ago. They would pass each other in the hallway in an awkward silence. There was something inside Tauriel that hurt when he stopped checking up on her. It was strange to her, she didn't think she could feel anything anymore. But there was a tug at her heartstrings every time they passed each other through the hallways without glancing at one another.

The king raised an eyebrow at the coppered haired elf. "Well, Tauriel?"

Tauriel turned around, meeting eyes with the prince. She tried to convince herself she did not need anyone to go with her on her journey, but she knew was lying to herself.

"Very well." She retorted, not leaving the prince's eyes. "But I am leaving right now. And I don't have a second horse ready. I am not waiting."

She turned her head back to the king. "My king, I should be back in less than a months time."

His lips crooked up only the slightest. "N'i lû tôl."

Tauriel returned the favor and left the palace through the gates, Legolas on her feet. She swung her leg over her pitch black horse and urged it forward. She didn't wait for the prince to prepare his horse, she simply rode off without him. He will do fine at following her tracks.

Tauriel could feel the token in her hand as she gripped to the horse's rope.

Although she had never been there, she knew the path to where she was going. The dwarf prince mentioned the name of his home to her while in his prison cell. Tauriel thinks back to those first few moments with him and her lips turn up.

"It's an old place with small houses," he said. "It isn't exactly a poor place, but it isn't the finest. I taught myself archery on the outskirts of it. There are several trees scarred from the arrows I used because of my poor precision. But over the years I became a fine archer."

"Only fine?" She mused. "You seemed to know exactly where to land an arrow when you encountered the spiders."

The young dwarf grinned. "I didn't want to sound cocky and admit that kind of I am one of the best archers of my kin," he chuckled.

The copper haired elf smiled. "Nonsense. I believe you are a wonderful archer, Kili."

He looked up at her in adornment through the bars of his cell. Butterfly wings batted against his stomach when she spoke his name. He didn't know why he was having such bashful feelings around an elf. He grew up believing they were uptight and selfish, that they only care for their own kind and none other. But here he was, speaking to this beautiful, kind elf who was willingly skipping the party to speak with a dwarf.

Of course Tauriel couldn't hide it either. She felt the same feelings he was having, although both were too shy to admit it.

Even though he was a prince, he was never able to charm the dwarf ladies with his looks. His beard was only a stubble, unlike his older brother's, who could easily charm women. Kili always tried not to look jealous.

"I must go," said Tauriel with regret. "As captain, I should join the party like the rest. My king will notice my absence."

The prince's face fell as she said those words. "Oh, um," he hesitated. "Very well then. I hope to see you another time."

She smiled at him. "And I you." And with that, she left with a cheeky grin on her face, slightly biting her lip. She looked upwards to find the elven prince staring down at her. No, more like glaring down at her. She simply ignored him and fled to the party...

*

Evening fell quicker than Tauriel expected. It was late so she decided to make camp. Legolas caught up to her many minutes later. Neither spoke to one another.

Although she was not very tired, Tauriel bundled herself up in the sheets she took with her and tried to sleep on the dirt. The bitter wind seeped through the stitches of the sheets and caused Tauriel to shiver. She cursed at herself for not bringing enough items to keep her warm.

She kept the token in her palm against her chest, rubbing her thumb over the engravings. She wondered how the dwarf prince could be gone, death was such a new and sudden thing to her. Sometimes she even wished herself dead too, but she never said that aloud, for the elves would force her into the medicine she refused to accept.

"Tauriel," the elf prince whispered just as sleep was about to take her.

Tauriel opened her eyes and stared at the prince, waiting for him to continue.

"You're freezing," he told her and offered her another sheet by resting it on top of her. This one was thicker and much warmer. She pulled it against herself.

She closed her eyes and mumbled a quiet, "Thank you." The prince smiled and claimed his camp a few meters from her's.

Something in Tauriel's heart warmed up as he offered her the sheet. She wanted to discard these feelings but her heart betrayed her. She couldn't suppress the soft smile on her lips as she drifted into a warmer, comfortable sleep.

Often times as she drifted to sleep, she pretended she was dying and would soon wake to find the dwarf prince take her hand and entwine her fingers with his. She only hoped that death was as peaceful as sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter in exactly a week.


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's 12:15AM so technically I'm a day late posting this chapter. Eh y'all dont really care anyways. Enjoy babe!

Tauriel's favorite feeling in all the lands was the ocean waves. As a child her mother would take her to places with white sand and waves crashing on the shore. She loved standing where the waves would nearly knock her out, and when the waves retreated back to the ocean she loved the pull of it running passed her, between her fingers, and through her hair as she prepared for the next wave.

So when Tauriel heard the distant sound of water crashing on land she couldn't help but follow it. She tied her horse to a nearby tree and wandered towards the ocean. Tauriel breathed in its fresh scent and it sent her vivid memories of her mother as a child, before she was lost in battle with her father.

It was much too cold for her to swim, but she was drawn to the ocean. She wanted to delve into its power and peace and fall weightlessly into the blue sea and be carried away ever so slowly by the restless waves.

Tauriel began removing her boots when she heard the prince call her name out distantly. She didn't care, she would only listen to the sea. Once both her feet were flat on the warm sand she stepped nearer to the water, until she felt the bitter cold water snake between her toes. She smiled, relishing the soothing feeling. She stepped closer until she was ankle deep. The water came rushing and rising higher than she wished it would, damping the bottom cuffs of her leggings, and then it would retreat, pulling itself back until there was no water at all, and then it would repeat. Tauriel closed her eyes and inhaled deeply through her nose. She couldn't stop smiling, this was the feeling she always loved.

She stood in the water for hours and when the sun began to set she stared at its reflection on the ocean. She thought of Kili and how much he would enjoy this moment with her. Tauriel imagined him standing beside her in the water as they watched the sun fall. Both his arms around her waist, circling mindless patterns on her clothed skin with his fingers, her arm tucked over his shoulder. His head pressed against her waist, looking towards the setting sun. She would whisper words in elvish to him and he would nod, pretending he understood every word she spoke. He would tell her something funny and she would laugh aloud until tears sprang in her eyes.

But now, the tears that began to spring into the elf's eyes weren't from laughing aloud. No, they were from dreaming of memories that never had a chance to be.

When the sun finally fell, and all went dark, only then did Tauriel retreat back to the sand. A fire was lit not too far from her and she walked towards it silently. Beside the fire was a sleeping prince with pale hair and soft face. Never before has she seen Legolas in such peace. She found it strange. The prince she knew always had a stern look, one of constant stress. She found she liked the way the prince looked now. She wanted him to stay that way forever.

Tauriel took her sheets and sat down beside the fire opposite of Legolas. They had never slept so close to each other since they set off to the dwarf prince's home. It had been five days since they left Mirkwood. Sometimes her and the prince would speak to each other, but only on topics about the journey.

She didn't go to sleep. She wanted to watch the flickering flames, to lose herself in them.

It wasn't long after she sat down that she heard the prince whisper her name. He sounded as if he were drunk from sleep.

"Yes?" Tauriel responded, eyes turning towards Legolas.

It took him a moment to answer. "I didn't know you liked the sea so much," he replied, sleep still on his tongue.

Tauriel chuckled quietly. It was interesting to see the elven prince so sleepy, so vulnerable. "I love the sea. I grew up in it."

The restless elf sat up slowly and stretched. He blinked his eyes a few times before settling his eyes on Tauriel. The fire flickered and caused different shades of orange and yellow colors to flash on his softened face. He smiled at her and, to his and her surprise, she grinned back.

"You're happy," he mused.

Tauriel shook her head lightly, looking back at the fire. "No. I just like it here. My mother and father used to take me to places similar to these," she said. "It reminds me of peaceful times... Well, before the war."

Legolas nodded his head, memories of old times flooding through his mind. "I remember."

For a long while both elves were silent, eyes wandering aimlessly but not meeting each other's. 

This time Tauriel was the one to break the silence.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

Legolas cocked his head. "For what exactly?" He asked her.

She wasn't even sure what she was going to say, so she found herself babbling, her words were uncontrollable. "For... not loving you. For ignoring all your kind words and gestures. For shutting you out so much," she said. "I'm sorry for loving Kili." She placed her face in her hands to avoid the prince from seeing her sorrowful face. A sharp ache traveled through her just by saying his name.

Legolas quickly located himself beside Tauriel and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She fell against his chest and cried for a while, apologizing and apologizing for any reason she could come up with.

Eventually she calmed herself down and was gently breathing against his him. Her elf ear was pressed against his chest and she could hear the fast beat of his heart.

"You did not have to come with me," she said quietly.

The prince nodded. "I know."

Tauriel's eyes began to drift closed. "I'm sorry," she said again. She isn't even sure what she's sorry for anymore, she just needs to say it.

"Don't be."

Tauriel shifted so she wouldn't fall asleep against him, though she wanted to. She wanted to fall asleep listening to the sound of a heartbeat tonight.

"Legolas?"

"Hm?"

She paused. "Will you sleep beside me tonight?" She asked. "Please?"

The prince smiled a bit. "Of course."

They both released each other. Legolas took his sheets laid them beside hers like she asked.

"No," she said. Legolas looked at her. "I meant next to me... if that's alright."

For a second Legolas didn't know what to say but quickly regained himself. "No, no. No, that's fine," he said.

He layered his sheets on hers and the two buried themselves underneath them. Tauriel fixed their position, she tucked her hands under her chin and pressed her ear against his chest. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders again. Tauriel found herself more comfortable than she's felt in a long time, and warmer since they left Mirkwood. Tauriel fell asleep minutes after listening to nothing but his heartbeat in one ear and the soft, crashing waves in the other.

Legolas was the one who couldn't sleep tonight. He wondered if this would become a regular thing. He wished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah follow me on tumblr at whythrandy.tumblr.com thanks babe

**Author's Note:**

> Just typical me trying to finish the story myself since Peter Jackson didn't.
> 
> Another chapter will be up in exactly a week.


End file.
